There is great power to this portrait, but I still think that it would be better if the clock was cropped out. It is down to personal tastes and I'm sure that you did consider its presence when you were composing your shot.
In the moment I saw this chap and decided to ask him for his portrait I noticed the clock and it was a snap decision to include it. I actually had him take two steps to his right so I could include it. I tend to rely on instinct when first composing pictures and so the clock was always going to be there!
It's the Zeiss 2.8 Vic.