hmm a different sort of image on Apug, well posted! (another Canadian I see)I like the kind of saucy naughty expression of the girl, compostion a bit to tight for my liking.
Now to some observations, I think if you cropped her right hand out, it would look cleaner, as it is, the part hand and part crop, are distracting. If there is more on the negative, then maybe it would be better if it's included, but you may have an issue with APUG on that score if you do.
Regarding the apparent lack of shadow detail, well NP400 isn't Plus X, not by a very long shot regarding a film's ability to render shadow detail. I have shot hundreds of rolls of NP400, currently it is my standard 135 film, I have few hundred more rolls to go through before I have to think about changing.
I fully understand the problems of what the print looks like and what it looks like on a screen after a scan, that said I would suggest a possible reduction in exposure under the easel by 1/8 or 1/4 a stop, from what I see displayed above. This should lighten slightly, the flatness of the skin tones of both models.
You could further enhance the picture by adding about 1/4 of a grade of contrast. I'm not 100% sure about the contrast increase, being good, but from personal experience with similar lighting, it does slightly enhance the print.
I have had another look before submitting and I think there are two pictures here, one with, and one without the hair clip.
Well this was a fun shot at the end of a photo shoot. This is a full frame enlargement and I wished her hand was in the frame. The reason I posted this one is her look on her face. My favourite film to use is ADOX CHS 25, 50, or 100 but very extremely hard to get in Canada. So for most of my work is on Plus X or Tri X. Using Fuji is a different experience in the dark room when I was printing.