I like discussing photographs. You have asked for a crit...
You had an interesting subject. I see a distracting background, and the lower part of the shirt (lightness) distracts the viewers eye a lot.
More careful selection of background should have been considered. I "longer" lens also would have helped... that being said I do not like to fault equipment choices especially if other choices were not available.
Next time more careful posing and composition choices in the background are needed.
Best.
--vincent walter
25 years of professional photographic experience. www.vincentseye.com