The light falling on the water fountain man, the mystery escalator shaft (?), and the askew geometry of the roof snap for me. I like it.
It occurs to me that the people, moving or not, really make this. The framing and contrasting textures are great, but the people add some special sauce.
I would agree with Uhner that the contrast is rather harsh. I would also be prepared to crop off top of the photo so as to remove that skylight in the middle. I would also be inclined to crop off that LHS where that tiny portion of the outside roof can be viewed - its pulls the viewers eye over there.
As I see it on my display 1440 x 900, I wouldn't change it.
I would consider change with respect to size and presentation. For paper and 8 x 10 and up, I think the "light at the end of the tunnel" feeling might work. For paper and smaller than 8 x 10, perhap more gradation and less black surround might work better.
But if it was my picture, I would not change anything, and only present it as an 8 x 10 or 8 x 12 or larger.
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