What strikes me first and foremost is the debris on the image: scratches, dust, etc. Also, the desire for a 'light, delicate cloud formation' is sullied with rather coarse grain. Thus, the attempt at delicacy is transformed into a rather 'dirty' image. Even if you disagree (which I wholly respect) I think that a different perspective is useful and productive. This is how art works.
I think that it is better to slightly hurt your feelings and have you see what alternate possibilities there are. Thank you for persisting with your patience. FP4+ should have been able to do better than this. Too much film development, perhaps? - David Lyga